April Fool's Day, etc.

Long Live and Prosper



April 1, 2014


I haven’t mentioned this to anyone before because it was such a long shot.  Astronomical, really.  I never thought that I would even have a remote chance.   But now …?

Last Easter, (Orthodox Easter), the USA National Aeronautical and Space Administration, NASA, in conjunction with the Russian Federal Space Agency, Федеральное космическое агентство России or the FKA, sent out a notice to several hundred travel bloggers. Including yours truly.

They were looking for an experienced traveler and travel writer to ride to the International Space Station.  They wanted to transport someone talented who could write an arresting essay about their visit there. (You know.  Something like the New York Times “36 Hours in Ocho Rios.”)

The requirements are quite stringent: decent physical condition, current Passport valid for at least 90 days, travel experience beyond the Caribbean, and the ability to feel comfortable in Slavic cultures.  (Ha! Jan? Polatschek??) 

Single and “mature” is also an advantage.  Just in case anything unforeseen happens, either during the training somewhere in Kazakhstan, or during the blast-off somewhere in Siberia, or during the re-entry heat and friction somewhere in the Ukraine, or somewhere, you know, as they say at NASA, “up there.”

Well, I just got a message on my mobile phone.  (How the hell did they find the number?)  It’s good news.   I am on the “Short List.” 

Divorce and the Economic Stimulus Package

The White House

Washington, DC

April 1, 2010
My Fellow Citizens,
On my flight back from Guantanamo Bay where I went to cheer up and support our Troops - BTW they are doing "a hell of a job," 
I had a few spare moments on Air Force One so I Googled my own name.  And what do I find?  Mr. Jan Polatschek's Economic Stimulus Plan that is posted on his website.  He was kind enough to mention my name.

An Arrogant Proposal

Bangkok, Thailand

May 15, 2007

Dear Business Editor,

As an owner of equities of several international airlines companies, I read with glee your recent reports describing the airlines' new policy for raising revenue.

Isn't it obvious that the fuel surcharge be raised? And ticket prices too. Business is business. To hell with those "supposed" low cost carriers. Eventually most of them drop out anyway.

I agree, if a passenger wants to eat, then let her pay for her food. The ticket is for a seat, and only a seat. Of course some seats are more desirable than others and our astute airlines executives clearly understand their company's assets. If you are short, then you are lucky. Tall, and if you want an Exit seat, then a little extra fee should be OK. Think of all the advantages of being tall.